Monday, May 18, 2015
Mothers vs. Children
When we first started reading short stories, we read several stories told from a child's perspective. More recently, we've read several stories told from the perspective of mothers. We talked in class on Friday about the elements that stories told from the perspective of a child have in common. Now that we've read stories told from the perspective of mothers, do you think that those stories have some things in common? Please cite specific examples from any of the stories that you discuss in your entry and be clear which of the three stories you're discussion ("Who's Irish?" "Everyday Use" "I Stand Here Ironing").
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One thing I find in common about all these stories is that the mothers feel distanced from their children. They feel like they do not understand their children, and they have somewhat of a strained relationship. In Who's Irish, the issue that prevents them from communicating and understanding each other is culture difference because the grandmother hasn't adapted to western ideals, while the daughter has. In Everyday Use, its mindset because in one she believes that she must be oppressed and she isn't good enough for society, while her daughter wants to go out and take everything the world has to offer. There also is the idea of family and how it is represented, and how both parties have a different view of that. In I Stand Here Ironing, I understand that Emily and the mom have a strained relationship, but I am not sure why. I think it may be because of her mothers jobs so she wasn't always around, maybe it was because of the years she lived with her father that changed her appearance and the way she acted. But definitely they all have strained relationships between mother and child in common.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Suki a lot in that the mothers and children never see eye to eye in these short stories. Another aspect a few of them share is that the mothers make a lot of sacrifices for their children or built a life for them out of nothing. The children, inevitably, see the world differently than their mothers and as a result don't do the things their mother would have done with their life. For example is Two Kinds, the mother has high hopes for her daughter's life being a born and raised American, but her daughter isn't willing to do all the things her mom wants her to do to get famous. She wants to just be herself, which is more of anan American value than a Chinese one, according to the mother in Two Kinds as well as Who's Irish. In Who's Irish, the mother has different ideas about parenting, as the whole story is told about the daughter's adult life. Just like the mother in Two Kinds, she is taken aback by her granddaughter's stubbornness and frowns upon it while her daughter and son-in law accept it. Everyday use is a bit more complicated. There are two daughters and it is not clear how they were raised, but they have inherently different personalities. Wangero, or Dee, shows up one day with new ideas about her heritage and implies that her mother and sister greet oppression with open arms. The mother does not appreciate her attitude and basically chooses her other daughter, Maggie, over Wangero by giving her her grandmother's quilt. I don't actually know what I took away from this story, can we talk about it in class?
DeleteThe key element that all of these stories share is that each mother in these stories is unable to be the ideal mother for her child due to differences or personal issues. In "I Stand Here Ironing", the narrator simply is going through a tough time in history, which is most likely the Great Depression, based off of what she explained. This women must raise so many children while also taking care of herself with no support from a father figure or experience as an adult. She is so very young and naive, which is why she is not suitable to raise Emily throughout her childhood. In "Everyday Use", Mama had trouble raising Maggie while also dealing with the outstanding personality of Dee at the same time. This is why Maggie turns out to be so scared and intimidated by Dee. Mama also has a large amount of fear for Dee because of how so called "cultured" Dee is compared to her family. In "Who's Irish", these two grandmothers are going through this new experience of having family of another race. They haven't experienced other races in their families and simply don't want to for the most part. This is why they can't relate to their children in how they raise their child. They also are so very different in their traditional views and values, which their children have lost.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading and discussing in class “Everyday Use”, “Who’s Irish?”, and “I Stand Here Ironing”, I believe that all stories discuss the relationship between the mothers and the daughters and all stories are sad and is surrounded by dilemma. For example, in “I Stand Here Ironing”, the mom is prevented from being with her children at times. (throughout story) Where in “Everyday Use”, the mother fights with Dee about the quilts that were made by Dee’s grandmother. (pg. 74-76)In “Who’s Irish” the daughter gets mad at the mother after spanking her child when she specifically said not to. (pg. 5) As you can see from these examples, the story is based off problems between the mother and their daughter. Also, in all the stories told from the mother’s perspective, you can tell they want the best for their children, but it doesn’t end up the way they want it to. The three stories all seem realistic and has taught me important life lessons. “Who’s Irish?” has taught me to support my child’s decisions, for when my daughter tells me not to spank her daughter, I should listen to her. (pg. 3) I have also learned to be more communicative with people, for if you are clear with one another, relationships are more likely to hold. So overall, the short stories from the mothers’ perspectives are similar.
ReplyDelete(Help and ideas from class, Suki)
In "Who's Irish" there is a clear disconnect between the mother and the daughter, because of two very different cultures. The narrator is raises her daughter Nattie in America, but is from China, and retains many values that differ from the Western ones Nattie develops. She insists that if her granddaughter Sophie was like the children in China, she would be more obedient. In "Everyday Use" the mother experiences extreme separation from her daughter, Dee, who has moved out of the house and lives a very distant life. The story focuses on a time when Dee comes back to the home of mother and younger sister, Maggie, to visit. She has chosen to live a very different lifestyle from her mother's; she wears extravagant clothing, has a boyfriend, and has changed her name to Wangero. In the last story, the narrator is a mother who feels unable to provide her talented daughter, Emily, with what she needs to pursue a career as a performer. Emily was first of four children in her impoverished family, and had to live in the care of other people while her mother raised the other children. The mother wishes that she could've smiled more while raising Emily, but she was struggling so much to make ends meet that she couldn't focus on that. One thing that all of these stories have in common is misunderstanding between mother and daughter. The mothers do not understand, and are not able to control who their daughters are becoming or have become. While the daughters interpret this as being unfair or strict, it is really just miscommunication.
ReplyDeleteIn the stories we have read we see the mothers struggling to relate to their children. This isn't uncommon since it is often assumed that teens will not communicate with their parents and can be distant. In these stories however we get the mothers perspectives and notice how sometimes the mothers fail to relate to their children. In my opinion every mother fails for the same reason; they all seem preoccupied. This isn't to say that they don't care about their children but every mom has something else going that causes them to overlook small details. For example "I Stand Here Ironing" the mother is focused so focused on making ends meet, to create a better life for her children that she completely over looks them. I don't think that the "mom is too busy supplying to notice" argument can be made in "Who's Irish". This is because the two grandmothers allow themselves to be blinded by their racism and are sending the message that they are more concerned with a skin tone than the well being of their granddaughter. Over all I think that the major element the stories share is distracted mothers disregarding what their children need.
ReplyDelete"Everyday Use", "Who's Irish", and "I Stand Here Ironing", have characters whose relationships' with their daughters' are the focal point of the development and emotion we see in these characters. In each short story told from the mothers perspective, the mother-daughter bond is not the strongest. In "Who's Irish", a Chinese woman tries to raise her daughter in America, which leads to different principles between the two. While in "Everyday Use", Mama gives favors Maggie over Dee, while Dee remains separated from Mama. These stories illustrate separation between mothers and daughters due to the period in which they are being told. Every story we have read so far has cited the daughter as young and coming of age. Therefore the daughters we see in each story are trying to find themselves in the midst of the hardship their mother is sustaining.
ReplyDeleteThe short stories we have read are quite similar to one another. In each of the stories, the mother doesn't have a very strong relationship with the daughter. The mother is seen to be typically "original" or "old-fashioned." The daughter, however, tends to stray away from the well-worn path that the mother is currently traveling on, and decides that she should keep changing and modernizing the way that society does. In "Who's Irish?" the mother constantly battles with her daughter's American ideology. It is hard for her to relate to her daughter because they have such opposing views on everything. In "Everyday Use," the mother has been living separated from her daughter Dee, because Dee believes that the family should be keeping up with society and that people shouldn't be living the way that the mother does anymore.
ReplyDelete